Dance Team Patrick

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Okay, so Dan got the new Xbox One on launch night and, with it, two games to put the next-gen console through its paces. The first game, which he got before launch night, was BF4. We've already played through most of the game with the 360, so he really just got it to witness the upgraded graphics and responsiveness. It's beautiful, to say the least, but when compared to the second game he got, Ryse... whoa.

Ryse: Son of Rome is the One's first "hack-n-slash" game that definitely takes full advantage of the console's power by dazzling the player with breathtaking level design, realistically brutal combat sequences at 60 fps, and stunning detail right down to the dirt and grime on the characters' faces.

One of the One's brilliant features is the Upload recording app and constant DVR. We wanted to test this out, so after a minute of cutting off arms and humorously driving pilums into bad guys' faces, we told the Kinect to "record that" and *bloop* it was done. Awesome. Now, the video above is obviously edited with a few funny sound effects and some homage to Mortal Kombat, so don't think that Ryse suddenly took a page from Metal Gear Solid and the fat bastards squeal.

Anyway, after tinkering with the One's DVR and editing the clip, we continued with the game's campaign. The story revolves around a Roman soldier named Marius Titus, who becomes a centurion in the beginning of the game and assists Commander Vitallion in leading the 14th legion to Britannia. Now, the story leaves out a bit of would-be-helpful information, such as major characters and even the dang time period. After putting the pieces together, I can deduce the time is somewhere in between 50 and 60 AD, since Nero is emperor and the empire only has a foothold in Britannia, rather than total dominance up to where Hadrian's Wall would be. That aside, there's still a lot we don't know and it leaves for some confusion for the player when the story ends. For instance, who were the god and goddess that kept intervening in the story, and where was Russell Crowe when we were in Rome's famous coliseum (joke)?

All in all though, the game was spectacular and a thrill to play. Unlike most hack-n-slash games, the player needs to keep strategy in mind and have perfect timing in some cases. You can't block unless you know what you're doing, and you can't dodge unless you're for sure you can't block. The enemies are smart, but you can outwit them by using your environment - such as impaling the bastards into a wall of spikes. Did I mention the executions? Hell, those made the game. When an enemy is weak enough, you can start an execution sequence. Just play a bit of Simon says and before you realize what's happening, your victim is losing arms, legs, and is being impaled through the back of his throat with your blade. Shoot you can sometimes even suplex the guy with your sword. Some of the moves had be jumping out of my seat like a football fan seeing his team score a touchdown.

If you have or are getting the One, I definitely recommend buying Ryse. I haven't even touched the multiplayer or co-op modes yet but... oh yeah, this is a hack-n-slash where more than one can play. Enough said.

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Okay, I knew when walking out of Hastings the other day after purchasing the game that this new title wasn't going to be much different than it's predecessors. The Call of Duty franchise has really fallen into a slump, and I think they've been digging a deeper hole for themselves since Modern Warfare 2. Regardless of that, however, I'd still like to offer my own review for the game on DTP, so here goes nothing...

The one and only thing that the franchise seems to get right every time is the story itself. Sometimes I wish had a bowl of popcorn, in fact; and I thought that the Black Ops 2 story was going to be hard to beat. In the new subtitle, though, the writers push you back on the edge of your seat for another wild, over-the-top ride with higher stakes, even more ruthless enemies, and an unexpected new world power: "the Federation".

Who would ever expect South America to ban together and bring the U.S. to its knees? The set-up in the beginning of the game was brief, and it didn't exactly explain everything, but still, it's a nice change of pace. I don't think I would have tolerated it if the baddies were going to be Russia, China, or an Arabian terrorist faction again.

The single-player campaign also introduced a few cool new aspects that the CoD franchise isn't known for, like sneaking around as Riley the dog, for instance, or piloting an attack helicopter. There's also some (very Battlefield 3-like) tank driving near the end of the campaign. So it's a little more than just run-and-gun all the time... Now it's run-and-gun, then hop in a tank, then fly a chopper, then rip a dude's throat apart with dog teeth... and then rinse and repeat.

And just when I thought the franchise had redeemed itself with the overhaul of the perk and attachment systems... it failed miserably. Once again, the multiplayer portion of the game just proves that anyone can play the game, and I hate that crap. No teamwork, no effort, no planning, no skill- or level-matching. You might as well throw confetti inside of a blender.

One of the things that really annoys me in the MP is the spawning. In previous titles, you could spawn safely away from enemy players (or as safely away as possible given real-time player dispersion on the map). In Ghosts? Nah, fuck that shit, you can join the game right inside of a camper's cross hairs. When you're killed by the same guy in a six second period in the same immediate vicinity because you got spawn-fucked, then the entire multiplayer portion has failed. Randomized spawning has truly become randomized, and that only serves to bite you and your teammates in the ass.

One thing Infinity Ward did get right though... Squads. While the exact line between a Clan and Squad is still pretty fuzzy to me, the Squads mode is basically an overhauled version of private matching with bots. You can work as a team with other human players against incredibly skilled bots, or mix it up with some bot-and-human on bot-and-human action. In Black Ops 2, the bots were only difficult on Veteran, but in Ghosts, Regular bots can actually give you a run for your money. So if you don't want to deal with 14 year olds just hitting their stride in puberty and yelling the n-word and "faggot" over a mic, I would recommend playing with or against someone in Squads, where the concepts of decency and sportsmanship can find sanctuary.

If you're wanting some fast-paced action to enjoy with friends, and don't mind the same-old shit that's become one of the most popular and best selling video game titles of all-time, then by all means, buy Ghosts. If you're a die-hard fan, get it now; but if you're a recreational gamer that can wait, then I would recommend holding off until a price drop or getting it used. As far as my recommendation goes for next-gen consoles, your CoD account can now be transferred and used on the upgraded hardware platforms, so don't worry about buying it now and regretting it later.

When word spread last year about the movie production of Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game, I was pleasantly surprised. It just didn't seem like a title that would ever be seen on the big screen, nor any of his works for that matter. You see, the science-fiction genre is one of those hit-or-miss areas when it comes to converting books into films. I'm not sure why that is... it just is. Most of your favorite hardcore science fiction movies (Star Wars, Star Trek, Alien, Predator... Alien vs. Predator... and heck, even Independence Day) were so successful because they weren't selected from a forgotten book series bunched in with the rest of nerdtopia in a bookstore. So taking a story from an often prejudged and overlooked culture and merging it with the pop-culture of sci-fi on the big screen is actually a pretty tall order.

Hailee Stienfield (left) as Petra Arkanian and Asa Butterfield(right) as Ender Wiggin.

To meet that order, the producers are going to need a recognizable and legitimate cast. Harrison Ford? Oh my god, you've already got it made. Asa Butterfield? He's a rising starlet that's sure to be recognized after his A+ role in the heart-wrenching movie Hugo. Now just throw in some new faces to ensure that the screen isn't overloaded with cheesiness and also maintain a workable budget, and you're set. But, of course, there's always the negatives of casting inexperienced faces.

While Ford's acting is always a pleasure to watch, I couldn't help but feel a little awkward when watching some of the others. The performances I observed from the supporting roles was... lacking. Emotions and reactions were either over-dramatized (like Bonzo) or just didn't seem natural, lending to what's known as the "uncanny valley" dilemma, where the agency assigned to characters immediately vanishes the moment when they portray unnatural or inhuman characteristics or actions.

Asa, on the other hand, is a natural. He portrayed the outcast, lone-ranger, extroverted Ender quite well. Most of the time, with younger actors and actresses, I feel like want to turn away out of embarrassment for them when they act out a scene sub-par, but Asa...? The kid's good, that's all there is to it. Now if I could only learn to ignore those ghostly-blue eyes... I mean seriously, I know you know what I'm talking about.

In regards to the special effects (for all those wanna-be critics out there that judge movies and video games based on their "l33t graphix"), I'll give a thumbs up for the portrayal of humanity's technological leaps in the setting. The projected holograms were both cool and believable, and the graphics of the "mind games" were constructed in a way that made it obvious, but fail-proof to the viewer that there was a clear separation between Ender's reality and fantasy. Oh... and the space battles were pretty legit, too.

Another reason for my surprise about Ender's Game making it to the big screen was that Orson Scott Card hasn't exactly been a friendly face in the public eye recently (yes, I feel I must at least touch base on this since... well... you know). Mr. Card has actually become quite known for his staunch conservative political remarks and concrete standing against marriage equality. When Card turned up the heat and kicked on his afterburners during the Supreme Court hearings over DOMA and California's Proposition 8, Harrison Ford and Lionsgate put some space between themselves and the book's author.

Despite reassurances that Card's political leanings had no bearing on the movie, many marriage equality and LGBT activists insisted on boycotting both the movie and all of Card's books. The author was even asked to refrain from a Superman comic title in March. Despite the pressure to nay-say the author, however, the movie ended up dominating the weekend box office upon opening night with $28 million. Maybe some of my extremist friends on the left could learn a thing or two about the ultimate lesson in Ender's Game: